Dopesick--Spring 1995
I am lying on the bed in the back bedroom of the apartment at 1460. In the morning I have to go to work, and it's after midnight, and though we've been snorting it for a few days, I'm not dopesick, of course not--I just have a cold, that's all. And cramps. In my hands. And if my mind is racing...well, that's just how my mind always is. And even though it's a huuuuge coincidence, JP has a cold too! It's amazing how couples can share these things.
We lay in the gray room, with the little TV on the north wall, not-watching _All In The Family_ reruns on channel 50. I haven't written a thing in weeks--a strange situation, since we'd sold the car in February based on just that plan: sell the car, buy JP a guitar, amp, and 4-track, buy me a computer, and use the remaining money for....
Well, that was the problem, wasn't it. I mean, it's not like we used it ALL for that...right? We bought some CD's, didn't we?
And then as I lay there on the bed, in the bluish light from the tv...the music starts--the Earworm of the Damned.
It's time for AN-I-MAYYYYY-NEEEEEE-AXXXXX
And we're ZAAAYYYYYYYYYNEEEE toooo the MAX
So just sit back and reLAX, You'll LAUGH til you coLLAPSE
We're AN-UH-MAYYYYY-NEE-AX!
I try to think of something else. Anything else. I try to count, to say the alphabet backwards--nothing will get the damn song out of my head. It's moving at unnatural speeds, like a warped record, a calliope from hell. Meanwhile my hands are cramping, right in the middle of the palm, like I need to crush something. I clench and unclench them but nothing helps. And the song keeps going.
JP looks at me; he's sitting across the room in the battered orange chair--he can't lay down because the pain is in his back... "I'm sorry," he says. "God, look what I did to you. I'm so sorry."
The night goes on, and neither of us sleeps.
We lay in the gray room, with the little TV on the north wall, not-watching _All In The Family_ reruns on channel 50. I haven't written a thing in weeks--a strange situation, since we'd sold the car in February based on just that plan: sell the car, buy JP a guitar, amp, and 4-track, buy me a computer, and use the remaining money for....
Well, that was the problem, wasn't it. I mean, it's not like we used it ALL for that...right? We bought some CD's, didn't we?
And then as I lay there on the bed, in the bluish light from the tv...the music starts--the Earworm of the Damned.
It's time for AN-I-MAYYYYY-NEEEEEE-AXXXXX
And we're ZAAAYYYYYYYYYNEEEE toooo the MAX
So just sit back and reLAX, You'll LAUGH til you coLLAPSE
We're AN-UH-MAYYYYY-NEE-AX!
I try to think of something else. Anything else. I try to count, to say the alphabet backwards--nothing will get the damn song out of my head. It's moving at unnatural speeds, like a warped record, a calliope from hell. Meanwhile my hands are cramping, right in the middle of the palm, like I need to crush something. I clench and unclench them but nothing helps. And the song keeps going.
JP looks at me; he's sitting across the room in the battered orange chair--he can't lay down because the pain is in his back... "I'm sorry," he says. "God, look what I did to you. I'm so sorry."
The night goes on, and neither of us sleeps.
posted by GJC at 11:01 PM
2 Comments:
MARCUS SUCKS!
He must of been an awsome man, to admit it and to say it out loud. That takes alot of guts. I can see why you loved him so....
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